


(a fistful of) glitter in the air

by Significant_What



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Will Solace, Developing Relationships, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Single Parents, Unresolved Emotional Tension, i am a sucker for single dad aus, no one dies this time i promise, solangelo is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-08-04 12:18:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16346606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Significant_What/pseuds/Significant_What
Summary: “First day?”Will turns to look and sees a young man around his own age, clad in black from head to toe, topped off with a jet-black hair. Will would be worried if it weren’t for the small Spider man backpack the man has swung on his shoulder, and the little boy tugging him along.Will shrugs his shoulders, running a hand sheepishly through his hair. “That obvious?”“I was the same way”, the man grins, looking a little embarrassed himself. Will can’t help but notice he has nice eyes. “It doesn’t really help that I’m a single parent. Home feels so quiet, you know. But you get used to it, I suppose.”





	1. fear in the face

**Author's Note:**

> (ha, i bet you didn't see this coming)
> 
> this is something that i started working on this past summer as my camp nanowrimo project and almost finished, even. i've been wanting to do another take on single dad au since i posted the latest piece on the soccer mom au (if you haven't read it you can find it from my profile it's kind of a big deal for me), and this pretty much wrote itself. it started having it's own life very early on, and i apologize ahead for some pretty unfair things that happen. but like i say in the tags, no one dies, so that's a step up!
> 
> the title as well as the chapter titles are from pink's _glitter in the air_ , a song that has been an inspiration to this story as well as half of my planned unfinished chapters for _querencia_ (look forward to those).
> 
> this is an almost finished story, i have chapters 1-4 completely ready and 5 needs a little tweaking around. still, don't expect regular updates - you know how bad i am with those. i hope to finish this before christmas, but whether that is christmas _this year_ or some other year remains to be seen.
> 
> yeah, anyways, i really hope you enjoy this, and as always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated!

If Will is being completely honest with himself, he’s not even that surprised that Carrie ends up pregnant after their first year of college. He’s aware they haven’t been as careful with protection as they could have been. Having been together for almost two years and talking about having a family _one day in the future_ is not an excuse to slack off. The fact that Will knows all this and can remember the times he made the conscious decision to forego a condom doesn’t really help, especially when he’s sitting on the couch in Carrie’s parents’ fancy living room and her father is giving him a very stern look.

But in truth, Will doesn’t regret it. He thinks about this when he lies awake that night after telling Carrie’s parents. Carrie is asleep, snoring slightly as she lies on her back, one of her hands curling under Will’s pillow. She has been crying a lot lately, so Will can understand she’s exhausted and out like a light before 11 PM.

Will has always wanted a family of his own. Ever since he was little, he remembers dreaming about being a dad one day, even before he dreamed about becoming a doctor. He remembers asking for a doll for his seventh birthday, then carrying it around like a real baby for God knows how long. He volunteered at the local daycare when he was thirteen, worked there part time through high school. Will likes to think that he can be his truest self when he’s around small children.

When Carrie told him last week that she thinks she might be pregnant, Will cried a little. Not because he was scared (of course he was scared, he was _terrified_ , still is), but because he was so surprised. Carrie was beside herself, and Will knows there’s still a part of her that wants an abortion, but Will is ready. Not ready to be a parent, that will come later, but he is ready to learn how.

(Even if Will wasn’t he would have to be. Mr. and Mrs. Van Ness were very clear about that. Abortion is not an option for them. Will thinks it’s totally unfair, and also none of their business, since it should be Carrie’s choice, and hers alone. But secretly, inside his own head, he can’t help but be a little glad.)

In the following eight months, Will stands by Carrie through every fit of morning sickness and every back pain, every hormonal outburst and weird craving. He goes with her to antenatal classes and reads parenting books, takes extra shifts at the daycare to pay for a bigger apartment, assembles a cradle on his own and paints the nursery green. When Carrie says she’s scared and can’t do this, Will holds her through her tears and tells her she’s strong and not alone. When Will wakes up in the middle of the night with his heart beating too fast and covered in cold sweat, he takes out an ultrasound picture and looks at it until he’s calm again.

Carrie’s labor starts in the middle of the night in February. Will doesn’t leave her side, not even when her father more or less orders him to. He holds her hand, not once complaining about her holding on too tight, just telling her she’s doing a good job and that he’s proud of her.

Cassandra Naomi Solace is born late on Valentine’s Day. She’s smaller than most babies Will has held, and a lot redder. Will sits on the edge of Carrie’s bed and cradles his daughter to his chest like the treasure that she is, and he allows himself to cry for the first time in eight months. Carrie is exhausted, but she looks as happy as you can expect, and Will is so proud of her.

Mr. Van Ness doesn’t find a thing to be mad about once he takes a look at Cassandra. Will thinks that to be a great accomplishment. Mrs. Van Ness sheds a few tears, pats Will’s cheek and says, “You did well.” It seems like an odd thing to say, when Will thinks about it, but he takes it as a sign of approval. Not a big one, but a sign all the same.

Will accepts the money Carrie’s parents give them to help taking care of Cassandra. He stays in the hospital long enough to see both of his girls fall asleep, longer than he is supposed to, and buys a ring on his way home. For a moment everything seems to fall into place.

But that’s only part of why the accident two months later breaks Will’s heart.

* * *

Cassandra is just a little over three years old when Will needs to put her to day care. With Mr. and Mrs. Van Ness’ encouragement, he has gone back to his classes, and he simply can not take Sandra with him, no matter how much he wants to keep her close. Mr. Van Ness gets her a spot from the same kindergarten Carrie went to when she was little and tells Will he will pay for the first year, but Will doesn’t want her in a big, polished, impersonal complex where she needs to wear a uniform. He calls the kindergarten closest to campus and gets her a spot with little persuasion. Mr. Van Ness is livid, but Will is Sandra’s father, so that’s that.

When it comes time to leave Sandra there for the first time, Will underestimates how hard it will be. In the three years of Sandra’s life, Will has never been apart from her for more than a couple of hours – now he will have to leave her until after three when his last class ends. It takes everything Will has to not break down crying in front of Sandra in the yard when he drops her off.

“Be nice, okay? You remember Miss Piper, she will help you with your shoe laces. Daddy will come get you as soon as possible, you know that right?”

“Yes, Daddy”, Sandra says with a big smile. Will isn’t quite sure she understands yet that he won’t be staying in the kindergarten with her.

Will draws her into a hug and presses a kiss to her hair. “I love you, Sunshine.” He swallows a persistent lump from his throat, the straightens up and puts on a smile. “I’ll see you tonight, alright? Behave.” 

“Bye, Daddy!” And then she’s gone, led inside by a wonderfully charming Miss Piper, and she doesn’t even look back to watch Will wave her goodbye. Her bright green backpack looks so big on her, and her pony tail bounces when she walks, and Will has to take a deep breath before looking away.

It’s when Will is turning to head toward the campus that he hears a voice not too far on his left.

“First day?”

Will turns to look and sees a young man around his own age, clad in black from head to toe, topped off with a jet-black hair. Will would be worried if it weren’t for the small Spider man backpack the man has swung on his shoulder, and the little boy tugging him along.

Will shrugs his shoulders, running a hand sheepishly through his hair. “That obvious?”

“I was the same way”, the man grins, looking a little embarrassed himself. Will can’t help but notice he has nice eyes. “It doesn’t really help that I’m a single parent. Home feels so quiet, you know. But you get used to it, I suppose.”

While the words are not overly encouraging, they do make Will feel a little better. He’s not the only single dad dropping off their kid here. There are others in similar situations as his own. Even though it still feels like someone is stomping on his chest, he now feels a little better about leaving Sandra here. He knows it’s for the best, for the both of them.

“Yes”, Will mumbles, trying for a smile that he knows is maybe a little too remorseful. “I suppose I will. I hope so, anyway.”

“Come on, _papà_ , I’m going to be late! We’re doing finger paints!” The little boy, perhaps a year older than Sandra, keeps pulling the man towards the building. The man gives a fond eye roll and a sigh before readjusting the backpack on his shoulder.

“Yes, alright. Let’s go, then.” He says something else in what Will guesses is Italian, the words flowing like notes on a song, and then the two of them are off, disappearing inside the building like so many other kids and parents. Will is alone again, but not nearly as hopeless as he was only a minute ago.

When Will comes to pick up Sandra 3:30 sharp, he’s met with a grinning face and a remade pony tail because the first one got loose during recess. Sandra bounces around him for a solid five minutes when he talks to Miss Piper about how the day has gone, and she’s abnormally talkative on the car ride to their side of town. She tells Will about the reading nook that’s full of books about animals, and about the boy who helped her on the swings during recess. She’s so genuinely happy that Will almost wonders if she’d rather be at kindergarten than at home.

That is, until it’s 7 PM and Sandra falls asleep against his side on the couch, her tiny hand clutching the hem of his shirt. When Will carries her to her bedroom and tries to leave her there, she doesn’t wake up but still refuses to let go. Will has no other option but to carry her to his own bed and let her sleep there. He doesn’t think it’s wise, in the long run, but right now he can’t find it in himself to mind in the least.

* * *

Nico remembers the day Reyna told him she was pregnant. He’s pretty sure it’s the only time he’s seen her really crying, honest to God tears.

Nico hadn’t even been aware she was seeing someone, let alone that it hadn’t worked out. Not that it matters to Nico, really. Reyna is his best friend, but that doesn’t mean they have to tell each other every single detail of their lives. (Quite frankly, Nico would much rather stay oblivious about Reyna’s dating life permanently. Alas, he can’t anymore. He’s a little pissed about that.) All it means is that when Reyna needs him, like she did now, he would be there for her, no questions asked.

There had been a lot of talking that night – and, on Nico’s part, a lot of drinking. Perhaps even an unfair amount of drinking, seeing as Reyna wasn’t supposed to anymore and had to watch Nico down a beer after a beer after a beer. “I have to drink for the both of us”, Nico had said after the third one, and that’s about as far as he remembers in the morning.

What he does remember, however, is that Reyna doesn’t have many options. She’s not fit to be a mother, they both know that; she’s not prepared, she’s unwilling, she doesn’t intend to settle down. She has plans and her life in a luggage, and this really couldn’t have happened at a worse time.

Abortion isn’t an option. Reyna may not be a devoted Catholic like most of her foster parents, but she still couldn’t murder an innocent child. This Nico can understand very well. He doesn’t think he would have it in himself, either.

So Reyna would have to go through the pregnancy. That’s pushing back her plans for another seven months – and what then? She couldn’t possibly put everything on hold for the next eighteen years, it’s simply not in her nature. And giving the baby up for adoption isn’t an option either, since as someone who was moved from home to home and from family to family, never staying anywhere for longer than four months, she could never put anyone else through that.

Nico comes up with a solution around midday, after a double cheese burger and sweet potato fries with onion dip. It seems clear as day now, even through his hangover heavy mind.

“I’ll take him.” Reyna almost drops her burger to the ground when she turns to look at him with wide eyes. “We’ll put me down as the father, and when he’s born we’ll automatically have shared custody. You can go do your thing, the baby will be cared for, and you don’t have to worry about putting him through the system.”

To Nico, the decision is rather simple. Reyna is his best friend, and the only family he has left. This is something he can do for Reyna, and it’s not something he’s opposed to. Maybe it’s a little selfish, too; he knows he’s going to miss Reyna when she’s away, and this way he’ll have a part of her with him always.

Nico is rather used to being alone, but he doesn’t fancy being lonely. Having a kid around, being a dad, that could do him a lot of good. He’s aware it’ll be tough, but life is tough. He’s had his fair share of complications before, surely if he can get through those he can raise a kid on his own. And it’s not like he’d be completely alone in this – his friend Jason has just moved back to New York, and Jason’s girlfriend works in a kindergarten. If everything else fails, she’ll know what to do.

When Faraji Elías Ramírez-Arellano di Angelo is born, Reyna doesn’t want to hold him. She says she’s already too emotional, and that if she held the baby she’d just regret not raising him herself. Nico thinks there is a fault in her logic somewhere, but he doesn’t say anything, just holds his newborn son for a while before curling up into an uncomfortable chair next to Reyna’s bed to take a well-deserved nap with her.

Two weeks later Reyna flies to Mexico, and Nico spends the first night completely alone with Faraji. It’s the longest night of his life, but even when the sun rises, and he’s had maybe half an hour of sleep, he knows he wouldn’t change it for the world.


	2. thunder before the lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two single dads attempt to flirt and Nico is awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole story is a lot more straight-forward than my other stories, i'm realizing. but that's okay. also things move a little fast after this chapter, just a heads-up. 
> 
> i'm not completely happy with how this turned out, and may or may not rewrite the whole thing sometime in the far-away future, but for now this is what it is. as always, kudos and comments are much appreciated.

Nico takes Faraji to the park every Saturday. He rotates the three parks with swings and toy racks within walking distance from their apartment, always packing snacks and a book with him. Sometimes he takes a picnic blanket, too, and sometimes he brings his laptop to work on some of his class assignments while Faraji plays.

This week Nico has packed two sandwiches in Faraji’s backpack as well as a paperback copy of _Anne Frank: The Diary Of A Young Girl_. They go to the park that is both the closest and also Faraji’s favorite because it has a huge tire swing, and Nico has promised that if Faraji plays nice with others and manages to keep the knees of his jeans without any tears they can go for ice cream on their way home. He isn’t sure if promising ice cream every week is good parenting or not, but he has a craving for hazelnut. He can be a little indulgent from time to time.

“You know the rules, Faraji”, Nico reminds Faraji when they get closer to the playground. Faraji tugs on his hand, anxious to go and play already. “Wait for your turn, be nice to other kids, don’t talk to strange adults. And if you hear me calling for you, you come straight away. Understood?”

“Yes, _papà_ , you tell me _every time_.” Nico knows he does, but he also knows Faraji forgets things easily. It wouldn’t be the first time another parent comes complaining that Faraji has been cutting lines and kicking sand.

“Just as well.” Nico crouches down to give a final check on Faraji’s shoe laces, then sends him on his way with a smile. “Have fun!”

Nico watches as Faraji runs off toward the carousel, looks for a little while longer to see that he settles in alright, then turns to look for a place to sit down himself.

That’s when Nico sees _him_ on a bench not too far from the playground.

It’s the same man Nico saw dropping off his daughter last week at the kindergarten. At least Nico is fairly certain it’s the same man; he hasn’t seen many people with a hair quite as golden, and the backpack next to him on the bench looks like the same one the little girl was carrying. Nico hates how stalkerish he sounds, even in his own head, but he would be lying if he denied the man had left a very good kind of impression. He might not be actively looking for someone, but that doesn’t mean he’s completely blind, now, does it?

Nico takes one uncertain step closer to the bench where the man is sitting, then hesitates to a stop. Can he just go over and say hi? Wouldn’t that be weird? Nico supposes it would, very weird, but then again, New York is full of weird people. Besides, parents go over and chat all the time, don’t they? Nico hates to admit it, but so far he hasn’t met any of the parents of the kids from Faraji’s kindergarten. He knows other parents meet even outside of parent – teacher nights, but he hasn’t found it in himself to be interested in such things yet.

Piper has been telling Nico to socialize more. She has been telling him that for months now, maybe even years. Perhaps she’s got a point. Nico straightens his back, takes a deep breath, and forces his legs to carry him toward the bench.

“Fancy seeing you here”, is what Nico chooses to open with, and he kind of wants to kick himself. Why would he say something corny like that? But the man turns to look at him all the same, and Nico realizes that his memory didn’t do him justice.

“Hi there”, the man says, a warm if a rather shy smile forming on his lips as he shuffles to gather some of his things to make more room on the bench. “I’m sorry, I’m occupying the whole place again. That’s what you get for trying to get any studying done in a public park.”

Nico picks up a book and takes a quick look at the cover before handing it over. “Compound fractures?”

There’s a lovely blush on the back of the man’s neck when he sets the book on top of a ridiculously tall pile of other books, notebooks, and papers. “I’m pre-med. Not the easiest path for a single dad, I know.” Nico thinks it’s actually rather impressive but doesn’t get to say so when the man continues, “Oh, I’m being rude. Will Solace.”

Nico takes the offered hand and shakes it firmly before sitting down on the newly cleared bench. “I’m Nico. Di Angelo.” He nods towards the carousel where Faraji is already screaming and laughing with a few other kids. “I bring my son here every few weeks. It’s a nice park.”

 _It’s a nice park_. Well, obviously; why else would anyone go there? Nico feels like such an idiot. No wonder he never socializes, he’s so terrible at it. He’s sure Piper would laugh until she cried if she were here to witness this.

But Will Solace smiles at him like it’s the Fourth of July, and Nico feels a little faint all of a sudden. “It is, isn’t it? We’ve only been here once before with Sandra, we used to go to the one closer to home but it’s under renovation right now. I think she likes this one better, though.”

Nico feels a little awkward. Talking to someone shouldn’t be this hard. There are many things in life that are difficult for a good reason but getting to know another person shouldn’t be one of them. And he _does_ want to get to know Will Solace, that much is obvious to him. The only problem is that he doesn’t know how to do that without sounding like someone who doesn’t know how to talk to actual human beings (never mind that he really doesn’t).

“How old is your son?” Will asks then, and Nico almost sighs in relief. That’s easy. He could talk about his son for _days_.

“Faraji’s four”, he says, knowing that anyone can hear the gentleness in his voice. “It’s his second year in kindergarten, now. It was hard last year, at first, to leave him there, but like I said the other day, you get used to it.” His eyes follow Faraji from the carousel to the swings, then he glances at Will. “What about you? How was your girl’s first week? Sandra, isn’t it?”

“It was better after the first day. She really seems to like it there.” Will’s eyes twinkle when he talks about Sandra. “Sandra is a little shy, so I was really worried that she wouldn’t feel like fitting in. But Miss Piper tells me she’s been settling in very well, that she’s getting along with the other kids and stuff.” Will gives Nico a smile that looks a little sad, but only a little. “I still miss her during the day, but the classes keep me occupied well enough.”

Nico smiles back. “Yeah, I’d imagine. I mean, I’ve only taken online courses in college, really, so I wouldn’t know. But I’ve heard med school can be a real pain – no offence.”

Will’s laughter is a beautiful thing that takes Nico by surprise and warms his belly in a way he never suspected. “None taken, I knew what I was getting into when I applied.” He digs for a bag of roasted peanuts from his backpack and offers them to Nico. “Want some?”

Nico smiles and takes a cashew.

After that it becomes easier to talk to Will. Nico finds that school, kids, and kindergarten are safe topics of conversation, whereas Will looks a little awkward when they skim the topic of Sandra’s mother. Nico knows it’d be unfair to pry, and it’s not any of Nico’s business, anyway, but he can’t help but be curious. He does, however, drop a few mentions about “Reyna, Faraji’s mom”, and hopefully manages to make it very clear that the two of them have never and will never be an item, and that she’s really not in the picture, anyway. Will doesn’t ask, but he does look intrigued.

Nico learns that day that Will may seem like he talks a lot, but he really doesn’t say that much. Not about himself, anyway. Nico learns about Sandra’s favorite food (pasta carbonara), Sandra’s favorite stuffed toy (a Pink Panther bigger than herself), the movie Sandra has seen most times on Netflix (Zootopia, sixteen times as of last night).

Nico learns that Sandra likes to cuddle, and that Will has a tendency to indulge her on this, from which Nico assumes that Will doesn’t mind cuddles, either. But that’s about as much as he learns about Will’s inner workings. He can see that Will tends to pick on his thumb nail when he thinks, but he wants to know what it is that has Will thinking so hard. He can see that the corners of Will’s eyes wrinkle adorably when he smiles, but he wants to learn how to make Will smile like that all day, every day. He can see that Will loves his daughter a lot, but he wants to know what else Will loves, and whether there’s still room for other people in his life, if Nico even stands a chance to begin with.

It’s a little frustrating, for sure. But, Nico thinks, it’s just as well. He’ll just have to work a little harder to learn these things, to help Will open up to him. And in the meantime, Nico can offer things about himself to Will.

So he tells Will about how he likes to read but hasn’t been able to find time to, lately. How he dreams about taking Faraji to Italy some day to see where he was born, where he wishes he had grown up. He speaks fondly about how, when Faraji was little, Nico could barely take his eyes off him in fears of Faraji disappearing or getting hurt. Will smiles and listens, and he’s a very good listener, and Nico doesn’t feel bad for talking more than Will. Not this time, anyway.

He does need to do something, though, if he really wants to get to know Will Solace. And the longer he spends time with him, the clearer it gets to Nico that he very much _does_ want to know Will.

“We should do this again sometime soon”, Nico says when they’re calling the kids and packing their things. “Hang out, I mean. And plan ahead, maybe.”

Will nods and looks up at him from where he’s trying to fit three text books and a jersey to his bag. “I’d like that. I know I enjoy your company a lot better than that of my text books.” It’s a poor attempt at a joke, but Nico laughs anyway, if only because it’s a little pathetic and makes Will a little more endearing.

“Uh, just so we’re clear”, Nico says then, hoping to make things clear before Faraji and Sandra come over and start asking questions. He works really hard to keep his voice from trembling. “I’m asking you out. As in on a date.”

Will’s face turns a few shades redder. “Oh. Right.”

When Will doesn’t say anything else right away, Nico feels his face drop and it takes real effort for him to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He really shouldn’t just assume… “Is that not okay?”

“Oh!” Will’s blue eyes are like saucers, his cheeks redder by the minute. “No, of – of course it’s okay! And – and I’d love to.” Nico’s heart rate calms a little while Will spares a glance at the kids. “It’s just… Won’t it be difficult? With the kids and all?”

Nico thinks Will looks rather cute when he’s biting his lip like that, but he doesn’t say so. Not yet, anyway. “I suppose that depends on if we make it difficult or not.”

Will Solace really does have the brightest smile Nico has ever seen.


	3. touched so gently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a relationship glows quickly, and a date happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're getting a second chapter this week because i won't be working on this story during nanowrimo. so it's going to be a little longer wait after this, but as you know, i have almost finished this story, so you know i'll give you the rest of the chapters in due time!

Dating as a single dad is hard. Or so they say. Will on the other hand thinks that dating Nico di Angelo is one of the easiest things he’s done in years.

(To be fair, he has had to do some pretty awful things in the past few years, so it doesn’t sound like much. But it is. Because it _is_ easy.)

Yes, most people probably wouldn’t think taking your three- and four-year-old kids with you on the date is the ideal set-up for romance, and maybe it isn’t. But Will thinks Faraji is wonderful, and Sandra seems to like him a great deal, and Nico doesn’t seem to mind any of this. They go on picnics and take trips to the zoo, and Nico holds Sandra up, so she can see the monkeys better, and Faraji takes Will’s hand, so he doesn’t get lost in the crowd.

So yeah, Will isn’t _most people_ , and neither is Nico, who constantly worries how they’re going to find a good kid friendly place for a date, and if they forgot to apply Sandra’s sunscreen, and does Will really think Faraji and Sandra get along as well as it seems?  And after a few dates it seems like the kids are onto them on it, because Faraji acts a lot like a big brother to Sandra, and Sandra looks at him like he has all the answers to everything, despite the fact that he’s only one year older than her. This is wonderful to watch, and as an added bonus it gives Will and Nico more time to focus on each other.

One of the things Will likes most about dating Nico is that he doesn’t have to explain anything. Nico already knows how difficult it is to balance life as a single parent, knows that everything has to be planned in advance, so he can arrange someone to look after Sandra, knows that privacy is a rare, delicate thing Will can’t often afford. So when they’re having a picnic in a park and both Faraji and Sandra fall asleep after lunch, Nico doesn’t hesitate to crawl a little closer to Will on the picnic blanket and lace their fingers together while the conversation shifts into a more private one.

And Will loves every second of it. He has to admit that dating was not the first thing he was going to expect when Nico di Angelo approached him in that park the first time, but oh, he’s so glad things happened the way they did. Because Nico is wonderful, and Faraji is an absolute delight, and it’s been such a short time considering but Will already has difficulties picturing a future without those two.

Even the first time Will kisses Nico is wonderful, though it is far from any fairy tale Will has ever heard of. It’s soft but short, tender but quick, and Will has a sleeping little girl in his arms and Faraji is playing a loud game on Nico’s phone. The train is noisy and hectic, and someone bumps into Nico halfway through the kiss so that he accidentally bites on Will’s lip, but it’s alright. If Will focuses hard enough, the dim light gets a romantic shade and the blush on Nico’s cheeks comes from something other than embarrassment. Will has always had a very good imagination.

It's hard to part from Nico and Faraji that night, especially when Nico hugs Sandra goodnight she gives a half asleep mumble that sounds terrifyingly like “goodnight, _papà_ ”. It’s hard, because Will wants to fall asleep holding Nico’s hand, and wake up to see Nico still asleep, and he wants to see two kids at the breakfast table and drop them both off at the kindergarten and kiss Nico goodbye outside the campus doors.

Will wants a lot of things. What he gets is another kiss from Nico, a little longer this time and without any accidental biting, and when Nico picks Faraji up and turns to walk away Will hears Faraji asking if Will and Sandra could sleep over some time soon. Will gets Nico looking over his shoulder and smiling softly, and even though they’re so far Will can’t hear what Nico answers Faraji, he remains hopeful.

“I think I could very easily fall in love with you”, Nico says on the phone a little over an hour later, when both kids are fast asleep, and Will thinks that he knows Nico well enough now to know that he would never have the courage to say as much face to face. That’s okay, though, because –

“I think I’m already halfway there.”

 – Will seems to be doing the exact same thing, lately, blurting out things he never would if it weren’t for the phone between them. And as he feels his own face burning hotter than the tea in his cup, he can picture Nico’s lovely blush clear as a day.

* * *

For their first date without the kids, Nico has arranged a friend to look after both Sandra and Faraji in his apartment. It’s not only very thoughtful and kind, it also makes a lot of sense. Sandra and Faraji have grown to enjoy each other’s company a great deal, and Will would be picking Nico up with his car, anyway. This way they only need to figure out one sitter for the two. Will makes a mental promise to take care of it for the next date.

Will arrives at 6 PM and rides the elevator to the fifth floor with Sandra. They are met with an excited Faraji as well as Miss Piper from kindergarten.

“I feel like I should have guessed”, she says when the kids run off to find good fort building materials. “Nico refused to tell me who he’s going on a date with, just that it’s another dad.”

Miss Piper (“just Piper will do”) keeps Will company while they wait for Nico to get ready. Will learns that Piper and her husband Jason have known Nico since high school, even though she only got closer with Nico after Faraji was born. Piper promises Will some exclusive year book photos of Nico the next time they meet, but Will feels like he should refuse; he’s not sure how he himself would feel if someone offered Nico his year book photos behind his back.

Nico exits his bedroom looking like something out of Will’s daydreams. His jeans are tight, and his leather jacket worn and his collared shirt looks pressed, and Will really wants to kiss him. He doesn’t, though, since even though the kids are in another room, he isn’t sure how Nico would like to kiss him in front of Piper at this point of their relationship.

“Hi”, is what Will manages to say around his tight throat.

“Hey”, is how Nico answers, reaching out and boldly taking Will’s hand before turning to give last minute instructions to Piper.

Then they’re off. For the first time since they met, Will is now properly alone with Nico. He feels a little more relieved than he thinks he probably should, and then he feels a little bit guilty about it. But he knows that they both need this, as people and as parents and as a couple, so he tries to ease his mind over it as he opens the car door for Nico before rounding the car and climbing in himself.

And that’s when Will leans in over the console, takes Nico’s face in his hands and kisses him, good and proper. He feels a little silly waiting to be somewhere private before showing affection like this, but he can live with it. It’s not like they hide, really. They just… keep things to themselves, private. Will thinks he might actually prefer it like that. With Carrie, he was always big on PDA. He has a feeling Nico is very different in this, as he is in many things.

Nico kisses him back, and Will can feel a small huff of laughter against his lips before they pull apart. “Hi again”, Nico smiles, and Will can’t help but peck his lips once more.

“Hey yourself.” Will tries to be subtle about taking a deep breath, fails miserably, then starts the car. “Ready for some geocaching?”

The date itself isn’t very memorable. It’s good, of course, pretty wonderful actually, but after a while when Will tries to remember any specifics he finds that he can’t.

What he does remember is Nico. Nico’s smile, Nico’s laughter, the way Nico’s eyes shone in the moonlight. The way Nico took his hand and led the way when they tried to find a cache in some bushes taller than the two of them. The flip his heart made when they laced their fingers together and Nico caressed the back of his hand with the pad of his thumb. He knows they buy milkshakes from a drive thru on their way back, but that’s because he finds the recipe when he’s cleaning his car. He can’t for the life of him remember if he had chocolate or strawberry.

They spend most of the date driving around, holding hands over the gear stick and talking about everything and nothing in particular. It’s still technically their first real date, but to Will it feels like so much more. Their previous dates have always been kid friendly and a little noisy, but they still count, at least in Will’s books. This date feels a lot more like a tenth date, or a fifteenth date. Will doesn’t say this out loud, though, in fears of sounding too forward. He has a funny feeling Nico knows, anyway.

That’s the thing about being with Nico; they know each other so well, with so much still left unsaid between them. Will knows for a fact that Nico likes him at least as much as he likes Nico. He knows that their first kiss may very well have been the first, but that it didn’t feel that way to either of them. Will and Nico both know where this thing between them is going, and how fast, and even though it sometimes feels like it’s a little _too_ fast Will still has no intention to slow down. How could he, when being with Nico and seeing their little families together makes him feel so _alive_?

They park in the front of Nico’s apartment building sometime after eleven. Will knows that they should get out of the car, that he should go and take Sandra and get home, because this is so going to mess up Sandra’s sleep schedule and she’s going to be cranky for days. Will knows that all good things come to an end and that even the best first dates have to end sometime. But Will can’t make himself open the door. Not just yet.

Instead, he leans over the console once more and presses his lips against Nico’s.

Will thinks he’s starting to get the hang of kissing Nico now, but he also thinks he might need a little more practice, just to be sure. So when Nico pulls away a little to get some air, Will doesn’t wait for more than a few seconds before he’s diving in again, coaxing Nico’s lips open with his own and swallowing the wonderful, breathy sound this gets out of Nico.

The gear stick pushes unpleasantly to Will’s side, but he barely cares. Nico tastes like cherry bubble gum, and even though Will doesn’t think he has as much as touched any kind of alcohol since Sandra was born, he feels a little drunk. And it’s a good thing they decided to take Will’s car, because this sort of kissing would be a little bit awkward in a public transport or in the back of a cab car. But since the car is Will’s, and they’re already parked outside Nico’s apartment building, Will gets to kiss Nico all he wants.

That is, until they both really need some air and they _have to_ stop. But Will really doesn’t want to.

“Stay the night”, Nico mumbles softly against the skin on Will’s jaw, then leans back to look Will in the eyes. “Sandra is probably already asleep, you wouldn’t want to wake her up to put her into her car seat. It makes so much more sense.”

“Yes.” Nico really needn’t to rationalize it so much. Will was sold before Nico even got to ask.

It turns out that all good things won’t, actually, have to come to an end. Will follows Nico to the quiet apartment, where they find Faraji and Sandra curled up and asleep in Faraji’s bed, and Piper dozing on the couch under a blanket. Jason picks her up fifteen minutes later, and Nico promises to invite them over for dinner next week. It seems to come without saying that Will and Sandra are going to be there, too.

Will helps Nico with the bedding in Nico’s bedroom, piling plush decorative pillows in the arm chair in the corner of the room and stealing quick glances at Nico in between. He can’t remember the last time he shared a bed with someone other than Sandra, and he feels a little odd crawling under the covers that smell like Nico. He closes his eyes and feels the mattress dip beside him, and for a hot moment he thinks that it’s Carrie and his heart stops a little. But then Nico reaches out and takes his hand, and it’s nothing like Carrie’s hand, it’s bigger and rougher and just as wonderful, and Will opens his eyes again.

He knows it’s okay to be sad. He knows it’s okay to still long for her a little bit, in the dark of the night. But he also knows that time has been kind to him, and he has forgotten some of the way he used to be with Carrie, even if he only saw her last week.

Nico tugs on his hand, and Will shuffles closer until they’re chest to chest and his lips find Nico’s easily. This is good. This is wonderful. But in the back of his head, Will knows that it’s starting to be a high time Nico and Carrie finally met.


	4. breath before the kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we talk about Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said you wouldn't get another chapter soon. i lied. 
> 
> i didn't mean to work on this during nano, but i did. oopsie. also i really really really want to finish this soon so that i can start publishing a new multi-chapter when i'm planning to (!!!) and i want this out of the way, so to speak.
> 
> the rest of this story covers the span of like, two days, so yeah. that's intense. 
> 
> hope you like it!

Will has never really had the head for languages. He tried learning French in high school and took a course of Spanish with Carrie for fun, but by now he’s forgotten everything he ever learned about either. Maybe that’s why he finds it so fascinating that Nico and Faraji are both bilingual.

“Actually”, Nico says and folds another towel from the big pile of laundry, “Faraji speaks three languages. His mother is from Mexico, she talks to him in Spanish. I try to keep it up, too, just so he doesn’t forget.”

Will is astonished. He simply can’t wrap his head around how someone can possibly fit so many languages in their heads. He’s already struggling with fitting medical Latin in there with English.

(Will knows he’s not stupid. He just doesn’t get languages. But yes, sometimes it makes him feel stupid.)

As if to prove Nico’s point, Faraji chooses that exact moment to ask Nico something in a language that sounds half Italian, half Spanish, and ending with a  _pretty_   _please_. Will feels like laughing, but he has long since learned that laughing at young children is a very delicate matter, so he bites his lip and watches as Nico’s brow furrows.

“Faraji, what have we talked about languages when we’re having company?”

Faraji sighs with all the agony of a four-year-old and stomps his foot. “That I should only speak English unless I know everyone can understand me”, he says, sounding like he has indeed had to repeat these words often. “But  _papà_ , I’m hungry. I can’t remember words.”

Will likes the way Nico rolls his eyes. (Will likes a lot of things about Nico.) “Yes, you can have yogurt. Do you want some, Sandra?” (Especially the way Nico talks to their kids. It’s unbelievably precious.)

“Yes, please!” Sandra smiles like the sun, and Will feels extremely proud of her good manners. They’ve only gotten better since she started at the kindergarten, and Will makes a mental note to remember to praise Miss Piper the next time he sees her.

“I’ve got it”, Will says and gets up from the couch. “I was just going to get up to get a class of water, anyway. Do you want anything?” he asks Nico, keeping his eyes on him but already turning towards where he has made himself acquainted with Nico’s kitchen.

Nico gives Will a devious smile. “A kiss?”

Now that is a request Will wasn’t expecting. He feels himself blush from his neck to the root of his hair, and he can’t help the pleased little smile that makes its way to his lips. He briefly considers just turning away and telling Nico that they’d need a rain check, but then again, why not? It’s not like Faraji and Sandra haven’t seen them kiss before, or like they even care that much. Sandra herself has said that she likes the way he smiles more now, so Will can only assume she’s okay with him dating Nico. And really, how much can kids this young really be bothered by a simple kiss?

So Will takes a step back closer to the couch, places one knee on the cushions next to Nico’s hip, and leans down to press their lips together softly. Nico makes a small sound at the back of his throat, like he wasn’t sure Will would actually do it, but he melts into the kiss all the same, just like Will has learned he does into all the kisses they share. And Will loves it, all the kisses, all the small noises, all the little touches to his face and arms and hips that Nico gives while kissing him, and when Will leans back to break the kiss he loves the way Nico chases after him, like having Will’s lips on his for any period of time is never enough.

“Two cups of yogurt, coming right up”, Will calls out when he skips into the kitchen. He doesn’t look back, but he can imagine Nico’s blush clear as a day.  _Got_ _you_.

When Will reaches the fridge, his gaze stops on three post cards on the fridge door, held up with colorful letter magnets. Two post cards from different parts of Japan. One from Australia. The post cards are pretty basic, showing landscapes and tourist attractions and sunsets. But the funny thing is, Will is fairly certain the post cards are different from the ones he saw on the fridge door a couple of weeks ago when he first visited Nico and Faraji in their home. Will feels terrible even thinking about it, but he has been under the impression that Nico doesn’t have that many friends. Could one person possibly send that many post cards, or are all of Nico’s friends suddenly vacationing around the globe?

Knowing it’s really none of his business but having absolutely no impulse control, Will takes a quick peek at one of the post cards. The writing is in Spanish, and the card is addressed to Faraji. So is the second one.  _Are these from Faraji’s mother?_  But Will has already overstepped his boundaries, so he leaves the cards as they are, doesn’t check the third one, and takes the yogurts from the fridge. Nico will share when he feels like it’s the right time.

* * *

 

Nico knows Will and Sandra live in a nice house before he’s being invited over with Faraji, but it still comes as a shock just  _how_  nice the house actually is.

Technically, Nico knows the house isn’t really that fancy and big. It’s in a nice neighborhood, though, and it has a small yard and a garden and a wind chime on the front porch, and Nico feels a little bad about his two-bedroom apartment on the cheap side of town. He wonders if, had he known what Will’s place looks like, he’d ever had the courage to invite Will and Sandra over. 

(Which is stupid, of course. Nico knows that money doesn’t matter to Will. He also knows that Will is a university student and can’t possibly have as much as the house implies, which probably means the house has got something to do with Sandra’s mother, and Nico isn’t sure he wants to open  _that_  particular can of worms right now.)

Sandra runs to greet them when they walk up the front lawn, her hair free and feet bare and a huge smile on her face. Will isn’t much behind, but he stops by the front door, leaning to the door frame and giving Nico a smile that does things to Nico’s heart. Sandra gives Nico a quick hug and then drags Faraji inside, giving Will just barely enough time to ruffle Faraji’s hair as a hello, and by the time Nico reaches the front door he can hear laughter from somewhere inside the house.

“Hello, you”, Will says, takes hold of the front of Nico’s t-shirt and drags him closer. Will’s breath tingles Nico’s cheeks. “I missed you.”

It’s been two days. Nico decides that Will is ridiculous but kisses him anyway. “I missed you, too.”

The afternoon is so full of domesticity that Nico doesn’t know what to do with it all. He helps Will cook lunch, and they bump into each other in the kitchen (how, Nico may never know, because the kitchen isn’t exactly small) and grin like idiots every time. They pick after the kids as they scatter Sandra’s toys around the house, and after a while Nico gets the hang of what goes where and starts doing it before Will gets to. They cut snacks and bring them to the back yard, and Nico takes pictures as Faraji helps Sandra in the tire swing, and he immediately shares a DropBox folder with Will. By the time they start talking about dinner, Nico has started to think that this may be one of the best days he has ever experienced.

Dinner is simple, macaroni and cheese, and Sandra and Faraji don’t make much of a mess other than themselves. They run off to play before they can be properly cleaned off, but Will agrees that they can let this pass, just this once. They sit at the kitchen table and hold hands while they watch their kids play, and Nico wants to freeze the moment and stash it away, to look at on rainy days.

“I don’t know if this is intrusive or not”, Will says quietly. His thumb presses to the skin between Nico’s thumb and index finger. “Or if it’s rude. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.” Nico turns to look at him, and Will has a look on his face that looks equal amounts curious and troubled. “It’s just that – and I didn’t want to assume, since you don’t talk about it, but – Faraji doesn’t really look like you. At all.”

It’s probably the nicest – and the most roundabout – possible way Will could have chosen to ask if Nico is Faraji’s biological father. Nico feels a little bad for not saying anything; it’s not like he has deliberately been trying to hide it or anything.

“No.” Nico glances back to Faraji, with his skin at least three shades darker than Nico’s and hair browner and thicker and curlier. There’s nothing Italian about Faraji’s facial features, either. “He doesn’t.”

Nico tells Will about Reyna. About how they met, how they grew up together, how they were that kind of friends who never thought they’d grow as close as they did. He tells Will about the night Reyna told him she was pregnant, and about the emotional roller coaster that had followed. About the crazy sort of limbo his life and mind had been for the rest of Reyna’s pregnancy, about how Reyna then left and how he hasn’t really seen her as much as he would have liked.

“She sends post cards”, Nico says, and he doesn’t mean it to sound like he’s making excuses for her, but it kind of does. “Every few weeks or so. I keep them all in shoe boxes under my bed, for when Faraji gets older and starts asking questions. He knows Reyna is his mom, and he seems happy about every post card, but…”

Nico knows it doesn’t sound like enough. But it has been enough for them until now, and it would have been enough for longer, had they not met Will and Sandra. Now Nico doesn’t think he could ever settle for less.

“That sounds…” Will trails off, and Nico sighs.

“Weird? Unfair? Not enough? Believe me, I’ve heard them all.” It’s mostly why Nico doesn’t like talking to other people about his personal life anymore – and why he doesn’t have that many friends. It’s hard to get friends when you refuse to talk about yourself even when asked about.

Will sets an arm across Nico’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Nico drags his chair a little on the floor, so they can be more comfortable. “I was going to say lonely” Will says, and Nico turns his head and rests his neck against Will’s arm. “Terribly lonely. I mean, she was your best friend, wasn’t she? And now you barely see each other. That’s got to be lonely.”

Nico nuzzles his cheek on Will’s shoulder and squeezes the hand that holds his. “I guess it is. Sometimes.”

For a while, Will doesn’t answer, just holds Nico for a minute longer before getting up and slowly starting to clean up the table. Nico follows, taking the towel when Will starts washing the dishes, smiling a little when Will hums under his breath, keeping note of every laughter and squeal heard from somewhere in the house.

When the kitchen is cleaned and the remaining food stashed in containers in the fridge, Nico turns to look at Will only to find that he’s closer that he’d anticipated, and already looking back. Since Sandra has probably taken Faraji to her room to look at her stuffed toys again, Nico feels like he can lean in and kiss Will without thinking about it too much. If it surprises Will, he doesn’t show it, and after barely a second Nico can feel him responding beautifully, pressing their lips together insistently and wrapping his arm around Nico’s waist to pull him closer still.

Once the kiss breaks, Will doesn’t let go of Nico, instead holding him close and resting a cheek to his shoulder.

“I sometimes wonder if I’m doing a good enough job with Sandy.” Will’s voice is soft and not too serious, but Nico gets the feeling Will is more insecure about this that he would like to admit. “Her grandparents – Carrie’s parents – they have offered to take her, time and time again. And maybe it’s selfish of me, not giving Sandra her best chance in life, but I just can’t let her go.” Nico thumbs at the base of Will’s skull, hoping to bring a little comfort to him. “She’s all I have, you know. And Sandra deserves the world, and I just try to be a great dad, but most of the time I just feel like I’m not even a  _good_  one.”

Even though they come from different places, even though their situations are not the same, this is something Nico can understand perfectly. This is something he feels from time to time, too, more often than he cares to admit. Nico coaxes Will’s face up from his shoulder so he can feel his breath across his face as he presses their foreheads together. One of his hands caresses Will’s cheek, the other fits well to the dip where Will’s neck meets his shoulder. Will’s fingertips press to Nico’s lower back, seeking comfort.

“You are, though”, Nico says quietly, still pressing his forehead against Will’s and refusing to open his eyes even as he can feel Will’s lashes batting against his cheeks. “A great dad. I think you’re quite wonderful.”

Will kisses him, then, and Nico can feel his smile against his lips. It’s quite contagious, and soon kissing becomes a little difficult. When Nico finally opens his eyes, he meets Will’s gaze easily, and he thinks that he might very well be falling in love. It’s not like he really has anything to compare the feeling to.

“I think you’re a pretty awesome dad, too”, Will whispers. His hand strokes the vertebrae on Nico’s back, one by one, slow and gentle. Nico looks at Will’s soft blue eyes and wonders what it would be like to wake up to this and know he would get to see it again and again and again. The thought makes him dizzy. “And we make a good team.”

All Nico can do is nod, because he’s afraid of what he might say if he opened his mouth now.

(He’s pretty sure it would have something to do with moving in together, getting married and adopting at least three more kids. Something like that. Which is crazy, because they have really been going out for barely two months – three, if you count from the day at the park – and that kind of thinking is entirely too soon. So it’s a good thing that Nico doesn’t open his mouth.)

The kids run through the kitchen and into the living room, and Nico refuses to let go of Will. They turn to look as Sandra laughs and squeals and chases Faraji around the couch, swinging a soft toy snake around like a lasso. Nico rests his head on Will’s shoulder and smiles, wondering for maybe the millionth time how nice a life like this could be, the four of them together. He gives himself just a minute of indulgence, and he dreams. Maybe they could all live in this house, or maybe they’d prefer to get a new place, somewhere that is new to all of them. They could build a home, and Will would take the kids to kindergarten in the morning and Nico would pick them up again in the afternoon. And they’d go to the park together, and in the evenings Will and Nico would take turns reading a bed time story, and after the kids are asleep Nico would kiss Will breathless in the living room. Then they’d do it all again the next day, and the next, and – 

Something in the window catches Will’s eye. Nico knows it the second it happens, as Will freezes, his whole body goes tense and he drops his arm from Nico’s waist.

“Sandy, go wash your face. Your grandmother is here.”

Nico isn’t sure what to think about this, but Will is already moving in the living room, straightening out cushions and putting books back into the shelves. Sandra stops chasing Faraji around and looks at Will with bright eyes. “Nana is here?”

“No.” Will says this as if the end of days has come, or maybe that’s just how Nico remembers it later on. “Grandma Shirley.”


	5. you called me sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we meet grandma shirley and Words are said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of you know this, but i reached 50k on nanowrimo yesterday! as i started a new multi chapter as a part of that i'm going to publish the last chapter of this one soon, too, and i kind of just couldn't wait for you to read this. i hope you like this, and let me know what you think about grandma shirley!

Shirley Van Ness does not look like a grandmother. Her dove grey jacket matches her skirt precisely, her nails are trimmed and painted light peach, and she looks like she just walked out of a hair salon where they set every lock of hair  _just_ _so._  When she steps inside the house, Nico can smell her Chanel No. 5 all the way to the living room where he’s trying to tug Faraji’s shirt into his pants with great difficulty. 

Later, when Nico thinks about it, he wonders if the sight of him trying to make Faraji presentable is what makes Mrs. Van Ness dislike him so much. Maybe she thinks that he isn’t able to take care of his son properly. Or perhaps it’s the way Faraji’s hair sticks out everywhere – but that would be just unfair, Nico has nothing to do with the combination of Reyna’s Latina genes and whatever Faraji’s biological father looks like. 

Whatever it is, Nico can almost feel the way Mrs. Van Ness gives him and Faraji a once over when she steps into the living room like the Queen of England herself. She walks across the room and sits down in an arm chair, setting her hand bag by her feet and folding her hands in her lap before speaking. 

“I presume you are the young man William has been telling us about.” 

It’s not a question. Mrs. Van Ness seems like a person who doesn’t really do questions – not asking them herself and even less answering them. Nevertheless, the tone in which she states this fact makes Nico gulp and sit a little straighter on the couch. 

“Yes, ma’am. My name is Nico di Angelo.” 

Mrs. Van Ness doesn’t seem interested in learning his name, though. Her gaze moves from Nico to Faraji, who blushes under the attention and moves as if to hide behind Nico’s shoulder. Faraji isn’t a shy child, not like Sandra is. Nico wants to shield him with his body like they’re facing a battle field, but settles to only placing a comforting hand on his back.  

“This is Faraji”, Nico says, wanting to break the silence and maybe show some initiative in communication. Maybe Mrs. Van Ness is just slow to warm up to new people. “Faraji, say hello to Mrs. Van Ness.” 

Faraji mumbles a barely audible “hello” while looking at his toes. Nico pats the couch cushions in an invitation for Faraji to sit down, and he does, if a little clumsily.  

Will comes to the living room, then, holding a small tray with three cups and a pot of tea. “Would you like to have some sandwiches with the tea, Shirley?” he asks while pouring milk into Mrs. Van Ness’s cup. Nico takes note that his hands are shaking a little.  

“No, thank you, William”, Mrs. Van Ness takes the cup and takes a sip, still looking at Nico and Faraji. “I won’t be staying long. It’s getting late, I wouldn’t want to delay Cassandra’s bedtime.” 

As if on que, Sandra comes back to the living room, holding a drawing in her hands and smiling that adorable nervous smile of hers that Nico adores. She glances at Will, as if to ask if what she is doing is okay, and when Will nods and sits down in the remaining arm chair Sandra presents the drawing to Mrs. Van Ness proudly. “I made you a picture, Grandma.” 

Mrs. Van Ness takes the picture, and Nico mentally dares her to say anything negative about it. There’s something about her that makes Nico believe she absolutely would dis a child’s drawing, even though the realistic part of his brain knows that (probably) won’t happen. Nico has to remind himself that this woman is a mother, and a grandmother, and she presumably knows how to handle a piece of a three-year-old’s art. (It doesn’t stop Nico from biting the inside of his cheek nervously.) 

“It is lovely, dearest”, Mrs. Van Ness says, and Nico sees the first hint of a smile from her. She gives Sandra’s cheek a small caress, the smallest possible flicker of affection, then carefully folds the picture in half and secures it in her purse. “I’m sure your grandfather will love to have it presented in his office. The colors you chose match the colors of the home office perfectly.” 

Even though it’s not the usual feedback you give a small child on their drawings, Sandra seems very pleased with it. She straightens her back and turns to beam at Will, then skips around the coffee table to sit next to Nico on the couch. Nico doesn’t even think twice when he pulls her to his side and drops a kiss to her hair, only noticing Mrs. Van Ness’s long look when he turns his head back forwards her. 

Will makes small talk with Mrs. Van Ness for about twenty minutes, telling her about Sandra’s days at the kindergarten and how his studies are going and asking how Mr. Van Ness is. Nico sits on the couch and gives a cookie each to Sandra and Faraji, silently complementing them on how well they’re behaving. Nico feels very awkward and uncomfortable, Mrs. Van Ness keeps giving him these looks that Nico has no way of interpreting, and when Sandra starts nodding off with her head on Nico’s lap he swears Mrs. Van Ness almost looks offended. 

Like she promised, Mrs. Van Ness doesn’t stay for long, barely even finishing her tea before standing up and picking up her purse from the floor. Will stands up, and Nico would too, but he doesn’t want to disturb Sandra’s sleep. He hopes that Mrs. Van Ness appreciates that, even if she still looks down on him. 

Mrs. Van Ness walks across the living room, then stops at the other end of the couch to hesitantly give a sleepy Faraji a few pats on his head. Then she gives Nico one last look, her eyes piercing and the exact same shade and shape as Sandra’s. 

“However glad I am that Cassandra now has two parents again, and that her father is happy… I only wish it didn’t have to be like this.” 

Nico doesn’t ask what she means by this, nor would he have had a chance to, as Mrs. Van Ness turns on her heels and heads for the door. Will gives Nico a strange kind of look before giving Mrs. Van Ness a hug that looks a little too forced to be comfortable, and then she’s out the door as quickly as she came. 

Will gently shakes Sandra awake and tells her and Faraji to go get ready for bed. He then picks up the tray of tea cups and brings it back to the kitchen. Nico is left alone in the living room, and he leans his elbows on his knees and rubs his face with his hands, hiding a yawn and then a sigh. 

On some level, Nico had known all along that there would come a day that he would have to face Sandra’s maternal grandparents. He had thought that he has time to compose himself, figure out what to say and how to act, find out where exactly he stands regarding Will and Sandra. The visit from Mrs. Van Ness took him by surprise. Nico hadn’t known what to expect, and he’s afraid he didn’t make the best possible first impression.  

Nico is familiar with this feeling. He used to feel like this all through high school, like he’s inferior and not good enough. He hates it. He knows he’s more than adequate, knows that he’s good for Faraji and perhaps even for Will and Sandra. He has worked very hard to convince himself of that, to build up that security, to learn how to trust himself when he says that he is enough. And yet Mrs. Van Ness has been able to shake that balance in just a few words. Nico doesn’t like the way she has gotten inside his head that easily. 

Or maybe it’s not Mrs. Van Ness that’s inside his head. Maybe it’s Nico himself. 

“She’s not homophobic, you know.” Will’s voice cuts through Nico’s musings, and Nico raises his gaze to see Will standing in front of him, looking at him with an odd expression. It’s almost like he’s worried about what Nico thinks about Sandra’s grandmother. Funny. 

Nico takes Will’s hand and pulls him to sit next to him on the couch. “I thought as much”, he confesses, liking the way Will’s presence eases his mind instantly, if even just a little. “I just don’t understand her.” 

They’re quiet for a while, listening to the kids talk while Will plays with Nico’s fingers. It sounds like Sandra and Faraji are negotiating on who will get which stuffed toy to hold tonight; Sandra herself seems to be leaning towards the giraffe, while Faraji undoubtedly prefers the lion with the burning red mane. It has been so nice, lately, to hear Faraji and Sandra get along together like this. It makes Nico a little more hopeful for the future he knows is still too early to really see. 

“I’m sorry”, Will mumbles, and Nico gives him a confused look. “Shirley comes over for tea every Saturday night. I was so focused on how nice it has been to spend the whole day with you that I simply forgot all about her.” Nico can’t help but feel a little smug at that. “I know she can come across as cold and dismissive. And I guess I can understand that she’s a little guarded when it comes to this.” Nico supposes he can too. He squeezes Will’s fingers. “She’ll come around, though.” 

“How can you be sure?” Nico hates to sound so insecure when he knows he’s anything but. There’s something about Mrs. Van Ness, though, something that makes it important to him to be on her good side. 

Will uses his free hand to tilt Nico’s head up so their eyes meet. “I know because she wants what’s best for Sandra. And what’s best for Sandra is a happy home, full of love.” Nico can feel his heart beat a little faster at that, but Will isn’t quite done yet. “You make me happy, Nico. You make  _us_  happy, you and Faraji, and I love you for it. And that’s really all that matters, isn’t it? Happiness and love?” 

Will kisses him before he has a chance to respond. Or maybe it was a rhetorical question, who knows. And Nico wants to kiss Will, wants it so much, but he also really wants to respond, because Will just said he loves him. He’s never said that before. Nico isn’t sure anyone outside his immediate family has ever said that to him before. 

What Nico wasn’t expecting is how good it feels to hear that you’re loved. It’s a funny little thing, that sparkle that starts from his chest and tingles its way down his arms and legs to the tips of his fingers and toes. It makes him a little breathless, but that could also be the kiss, and Nico needs to lean back and look at Will, because he feels like he needs to say something, anything, and he can’t do that if he’s kissing Will all the time, no matter how much he would like to. 

“Yeah”, Nico mumbles intelligibly, trying to relearn how words work and being totally unable to calm his own heart down. Which is just as well, because he’s so close to Will now that he can feel Will’s heart, too, and it’s beating at least as wildly as Nico’s. “Happiness and love.” 

They kiss for a little bit more, and then it’s time to put the kids to bed once and for all. Will takes the bullet, and Nico listens from the living room as he tells a short story about flying monkeys on motorbikes. As quietly as he can, Nico tiptoes to the doorway of Sandra’s bedroom and catches Will leaning over the inflatable mattress they’ve set for Faraji, giving the boy a kiss of good night. 

“Good night, sunshine”, Will smiles, and it makes Nico’s heart ache – as do the twin voices calling “good night, Daddy” after Will when he turns off the light and leaves the door cracked open just a little. 

Nico gets to hold Will that night, tight against his chest, bury his face to Will’s hair. Their legs tangle together, as do their fingers, and Nico leans in to press a lingering kiss to Will’s bare shoulder. 

“You make me happy, too”, he whispers, hoping against hope that Will is still awake despite the deep breaths that do not go in rhythm with the clock on the bedside table. He hides his face to the crook of Will’s neck, smelling sweat and soap on the hot skin. “And I love you. Of course I do.” 

But Will is awake, and he turns around in Nico’s arms so that they’re face to face. Even though the room is dark, Nico can still see Will’s smile so clearly, as though it illuminates its own light somehow. Will kisses him slowly, gently, and his hand wounds itself in his hair, and Nico can’t help the delighted sigh that leaves his throat at the sensation. They hold each other tightly, so close together that it would be more or less impossible to get any closer with pajama pants on, but Nico still tries and hooks one leg over Will’s hip. 

“I love you too, dummy”, Will says, barely breaking the kiss and never stilling his massaging fingers against Nico’s scalp. “Did you for some reason think I wouldn’t want to know?” 

Nico lets out a huff of laughter and molds his lips together with Will’s again, indulging in slowly making out without having to worry about taking care of the kids.  _I could get used to this_ , Nico thinks as the kisses slow down to mere caresses and they nuzzle their noses together.  _This would be a wonderful life_. All this time Nico has been convinced that he’s been doing just fine on his own with Faraji, and yes, he really has. But there’s something about the thought of sharing that with someone else, someone who understands and wants to share in return. Nico thinks he would really like to share everything with Will. And it feels like Will is willing to share, too. 

Nico very much likes the way Will’s face feels so close to his own. He cups Will’s cheek with one hand, a little afraid that Will is about to lean away and strokes the curve of Will’s cheek bone with the pad of his thumb. He keeps his eyes closed, but from how Will’s cheek feels like under his hand, Nico thinks that Will is probably smiling. That makes him smile in return. 

“Nico?” 

“Hmm?” Nico feels so content, so at ease with Will like this, that he thinks he’s about to fall asleep. He wiggles himself just that tiny bit closer to Will still, hoping to stay awake long enough to hear what Will has to say. 

“Would you like to come see Carrie with us tomorrow?” 

Suddenly Nico is wide awake again. 


	6. better than tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we meet carrie. the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter of glitter. i'm happy to share this with you; it includes parts that i had on the word document long before this story really even took form. i'm in love with carrie's story, i hope you like it too.
> 
> as for other stuff, keep your eyes open on the first of december. something's going to happen.

Nico has some facts about Carrie before Will asks him to come along and meet her. He knows Carrie had an accident when Sandra was just a few months old, and that the accident left her unable to care for her own child. He knows that Will really, truly loved Carrie, still does, but that the whole thing is a big complicated mess and Nico should in no way feel jealous of Carrie. He is still not convinced.

Nico also knows that Will has an engagement ring in his wallet, and that the ring is not for him. He knows this because he caught sight of it back on the first date they had with the kids. The ring has dented the plastic inside the wallet, it’s delicate and has some kind of a diamond on it, and under the ring there’s a picture of a young woman. Nico isn’t quite sure how he feels about his boyfriend carrying around a picture of his ex-girlfriend, but then again, the situation isn’t really black and white, is it?

(Yes, Nico worries about it sometimes. No, he hasn’t said anything to Will. What would he even say?  _Hey, you know, it makes me a little uncomfortable that you still carry a torch to your daughter’s mother, even though I know she had a terrible accident and you two splitting was forced in pretty much the worst way possible_. Yeah, that would go down so well.)

This is why Nico spends the night staring at the ceiling in Will’s bedroom, listening to Will’s light snoring and counting the ticks on the clock on the bedside table. Will’s arm is a comfortable weight across Nico’s chest, and Nico draws idle patterns on Will’s forearm while he thinks about why’s and how’s.

It’s not like this should make Nico as nervous as it clearly does. Will hasn’t explained the details, it’s clearly still painful for him to even talk about it, but he has stated that Carrie really is not in a mental state to be any kind of threat to Nico. But that’s not even what Nico is so worried about, not really. He knows Will loves him (even if the declaration itself is new and previously unheard), and he knows that the two of them (four) have a real chance of a good future together. 

That’s not the issue here. What Nico is worried about is whether Carrie thinks Nico is good enough to help raise her daughter.

Maybe it’s the way meeting Mrs. Van Ness has left Nico a little shaken up. Perhaps the way she clearly doesn’t approve Nico’s upbringing and education (or, well, the lack of it) and gender (even though Will says otherwise). What if Carrie is the same way? From the little Nico has heard from Will, Carrie is very much unlike her mother and father in many things. But Will has known Carrie since they were six years old. Nico knows that he can’t possibly compete with that. He also knows that time can make someone blind to someone else’s characteristics.

Nico does his best to shield his distress from Will in the morning, but he thinks that Will might have noticed anyway. Will is a little annoying that way, knowing when something bothers Nico without him having to say anything most of the time. Usually Nico likes this about Will, but not this time. This is the only time he would have wanted to keep his stupid insecurities to himself and not share them with Will.

“Is everything alright?” Will asks him quietly when they’re cleaning up the breakfast table and making sure both Sandra and Faraji have their socks on.

Nico takes one quick look at Will and the worry lines on his forehead, then gives him the softest smile he can muster. “Everything’s fine”, he says, reaching out and smoothing the lines on Will’s face with the tips of his fingers. “Just a little nervous, that’s all.”

Sandra takes that moment to come over and tug on Nico’s pant sleeve. When Nico turns to look at her, she has the smile of an angel on her tiny little face. “Are you and Fa-ji coming to see Mommy with us today?”

“We are”, Nico tells her, then gives her a little smile. “Is that alright with you? I’ve been looking forwards to meeting your Mommy.”

It’s not even a lie; Nico could never lie to Sandra. He has been looking forward to this, has hoped Will would some day feel comfortable enough about their future together that he would introduce Nico to Carrie. He just wishes he could be a little braver, so his hands wouldn’t shake so much that he needs to hold tightly to the hem of his shirt to not let anyone notice.

Sandra lets out a small squeak, a sound she often makes when she’s really excited about something, then runs off to jump up and down around Faraji and talk his ear off about all the games they can play with Carrie.

When Nico turns to look, he can see that Will has been following the exchange quietly, his arms crossed over his chest and a contemplating look on his face. He doesn’t say anything, just strokes down Nico’s arm as he passes and makes Nico feel a little less terrified about where they’re going. But just for a moment. By the time they’re packing the kids up in the car his heart is racing one hundred miles an hour and he feels light in the head.

“I’m really glad you’re coming with us today”, Will tells him while driving and reaches to hold Nico’s hand across the console. Nico hopes his hand isn’t too clammy as he hums and links their fingers together, trying to take a deep breath. “I think this is a little overdue, actually. It’s a little silly, but... maybe I just didn’t want you to judge me.”

Nico has no idea why he would ever judge Will about this, but squeezes his hand reassuringly, anyway.

There’s no way of telling what it is that Nico is actually expecting, but the hospital they drive to is not it. Or well, not exactly a hospital – more like a nursing home of some kind, with a rather nice front garden and what seems to be a pool area to the side. But the halls still have that dreadful feeling of sickness and death clinging to them, or maybe that’s just Nico. He’s never really liked hospitals. At all.

Will walks them through the corridors to the other side of the building, and Sandra races ahead of them when the right door comes to view. Nico’s hand shakes a little and he pulls it into a fist as Will holds the door open and Nico finally meets the woman who still, in some way, is the love of Will’s life.

“Will! Did you come play with me?”

Caroline Van Ness is gorgeous, which is something Nico knew to expect. Her hair is long and shining, her face is ridiculously symmetrical, her smile is bright like a thousand stars. Her eyes are the exact same color as Sandra’s and she looks at Will like he knows everything.

And just like that, Nico feels very stupid. Because it’s not just the color in Carries eyes that is similar to Sandra’s; it’s also the child-like wonderment, the pure curiosity, the lack of patience as she flips from one thing to another as fast as a four-year-old. It doesn’t take Nico longer that five minutes to understand that she will never be the same again, and that it’s stupid and ridiculous of him to have been annoyed about Will still carrying her picture around.

Will introduces Nico to Carrie, and she smiles just as brightly to Nico. “Sandy talks about you!” she says, and Will smiles softly. Nico has a strange lump in his throat when Carrie pulls him into a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Likewise”, Nico replies, then looks a little dumbly as Carrie takes Sandra’s hand in hers and Faraji’s hand in another and leads them to the table that has colored papers and crayons on it. 

Nico and Will sit down on a couch and watch as Carrie colors with Sandra and Faraji. Will holds Nico’s hand and whispers the story to his ear, about the car accident and the terrible months that followed. To Nico, the coma would have been bad enough; to have Carrie wake up but not be the same ever again must have been torture to Will. Nico can never understand what Will has been through, but now that he knows what happen he can at least try to. 

Nico can tell it has taken Will a lot of courage and trust to share this with Nico, and he wonders if Will has ever told these things to anyone before. Will isn’t the type of person to share easily, Nico has learned this the first time they really even talked, he had to work his way through Will’s defenses to get to know him properly. It’s entirely possible that Nico is the first person Will ever tells about what really happened with Carrie. 

That afternoon Nico watches as Sandra has a tea party with her mother, listens as Will reads them a story, smiles as he plays Trouble with them. It doesn’t look like Faraji finds any of this odd, and Nico is glad. Faraji is still so young, there will be a time to explain this all to him later; Faraji is a smart boy and will start asking very difficult questions any day now, and Nico isn’t sure how to answer half of them. Right now Nico is just glad that his son has a new friend, and that they play well together.

A nurse comes in around three in the afternoon with Carrie’s medicine, and Will wonders out loud that it might be a good time for them to go now. Nico doesn’t want to feel relieved, but he has so much he wants to ask Will, and this hardly seems the place. 

Will takes it upon himself to get the kids ready to go, and Carrie manages to sneak up on Nico while the nurse checks out her chart. Nico almost jumps out of his skin when he feels Carrie’s hand touch his, her hand a little cold and clammy. That’s probably because of the weird hospital-like air the place has. Nico makes it point to look for something warm for her for next week when Will and Sandra visit Carrie again.

“Take care of Will for me?” Carrie asks, and Nico feels a lump in his throat again. “He’s my best friend. I like to see him smile.”

Nico stares at Carrie for a long while, letting her hold his hand. She’s not stupid. Her brain isn’t quite right, anymore, but she knows what is going on around her. She knows enough to know when Will is happy, and what causes it.

For what feels like the hundredth time that day, Nico’s heart aches for both Will and Carrie. He isn’t sure if Carrie is hurt to see Will moving on with someone else, if she even understands it that way. But he knows it sometimes feels like that to Will, like he’s replacing Carrie with Nico. But it’s not like that at all, not the way Nico sees it. 

What happened with Carrie is something terrible, something no one wishes to happen to anyone, but maybe that was meant to be. Nico hates how it sounds in his own head, but Carrie’s accident left a kind of void in Will’s life, a void Nico has so far been able to fill, and he hopes he can continue to be there for a long time. Nico wants to think that having taken Nico and Faraji to meet Carrie means that Will wants him to stay, too.

Carrie has been such a mystery to Nico for a long time, but it seems like Carrie has known about him all along.  _Sandy talks about you_ , is what Carrie first said to Nico. Nico has known this already, but now it feels more real than ever that he is a permanent fixture of Sandra’s life, of Will’s life – of Carrie’s life, by extension. When Nico woke up this morning, he was worried about Carrie accepting him to be there for Will and Sandra, of her seeing him as worthy enough. He was so  _scared_.

This is it. This is the closest Nico is going to get in getting a blessing from Carrie.

“Yes.” Nico gives Carrie’s hand a squeeze and smiles a little. “I will take care of both of them.” Carrie smiles brightly. It feels a lot like acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((can we please appreciate how cure sandy is when she calls her new brother fa-ji because faraji is too hard for her))


End file.
